Good question. I was thinking it's easy. Just try not to be very Polish, have a good sex with a black girl and good fun with black guys. Love Pulp Fiction, admire James Brown and Barry White. It helps to listen to soul and gospel. Visit black Christian church and enjoy singers and dancers. And I did, but I was wrong. Today I've been to Camden Town to take Stew's awesome Yoga classes.
Btw. This is best night takeway food in Camden. Algerian cuisine. Amazing food. All my way I was thinking about idea of cause and effect. Is it worth thinking like that. I had tried to remember any quotes from the Bible, any lessons of Jesus Christ about cause and effect to find the answer. Jesus said: Ask and you will be given. So I asked. After assanas and Shevasana we had conversation about football, yoga and skateboarding with Steward. By the way on the classes I got to know fantastic French girl Isabel and we went back together to the bus station talking about photo exhibition we accidentally saw the same day - last Saturday. Then I went back home. On my way back home near my house I was on the phone with Ayan. Ayan came back from Us and she is lovely black Somalian friend - my neighbor who lives down the road. I passed bunch of young black loud teenagers. Once I felt strong pain in my head, someone threw at my head an egg from very close distance. I turned around holding my head and noticed 10 guys escaping around like rays of darkness:) I was exhausted and chilled after Yoga, but my adrenaline exceeded weekly limit. My legs were knocked I've had a mat and a beg on my back I decided to run after young bustards. These all fuckers were black.
I was too slow. Got angry back home and prepared revenge. Left home again in aim to find anyone from them and kick their ass, face, anything what harms. and... Apparently every black mate in a fucking black jacket looked similar. Shit. I can't blame the whole population for what happened. I was a bit down but concerned. Back home again. I didn't want to hurt anybody innocent. Where is the karma, where is cause and effect? I still can't understand this. I have never been a racist, I was chilled, full of love and became an aim of fucking idiots - black teenagers waiting
for somebody to throw the fucking egg in his/her head. Weird day, what a weird day. I hope I'll understand this one day. If only I had more energy and had nothing with my like a mat and a beg, if I found one of these guys one of us could be in hospital today. Thanks God I stopped training Judo and going to gym. Sometimes I can't control my anger and adrenaline. Yes I'm a born fighter. It helps me to compete and achieve goals but it destroys me as well, since I don't want to harm anybody. This time Yoga saved my day. I'm still learning not to be a racist.
At the end, after a while I'd like to say something to my black friends: Jee, Ayan, Jomi, Jax, Richie, and others I forgot: "You know I love you I was just mad. Now I'm cool. Nothing changed in my opinion. "
you don't know what is karma and cause-and-effect... lama jesus doesn't want you to beat the black brothers, but to forgive them :) calm down, mr catholic.. and good luck!
ReplyDeleteAnother smart-ass;) I'm cool now, laughing at myself. But if you were in my shoes that minute or anybody who's got some testosteron and doesn't want to die of cancer would behaved similar. At the end of the day thanks to this situation I managed to make a a new connection with somebody influential. So I think I started to understand the cause and effect.
ReplyDeletePeople are people...
it was a dark evening, all of those boys would look black to me, or at least black as a eminem. :) why did you hold to the idea that this racial issue? because you've experienced this before?
ReplyDeletei felt racist many times, but in reality its my survival kit embedded in my brain. when i see bunch of friends in black puffy jackets& loose pants, after dark with dark skin - i dont feel love. like jimmy sommerville would.
i fear. and thats what saves me some times. my eyes are open, my blood is fast, my ears bending back.
you're lucky. i say. it could be stone. no one would care difference . expt you.
we all need peace. but peace its very expensive these days.
all I can afford today is to keep my fear to protect myself, and do not use my fear to destroy others.
what about class?
have and havenots are divided too, regardless of skin color.