London, Cold and Upper Street Party

Have you ever realized that you computer might be your best mate. He never complains, is always available, lets you do almost what you want with anything and anyone, and never gets offended. In fact I'm staying in Thursday night at home because i have a cold and i don't feel well enough to go out. Shoredich, Bricklane, cool but… I can't drink cold drinks, they make me more sick ever, so what is the point to wandering around London. This is a real trap. In fact staying home is not very my lifestyle, but what can you do. I haven't set up broadband connection purposely not to get involved in living 24hours online.

I'm listening some easy going house funk based on Brazilian rhythms, feel like in summer time, but where the hell is sea or at least Vietnamese waterfalls sold in the tunnel under Gdansk Glowny train station? Acoustic guitar, mega loops number 216 from library of dj Roots, making music never became as simple as these days. Is it good? I guess it's very good, but nothing will replace live performance and I'm not talking about dj culture, but real musician playing on their old school guitars, trumpets, drums, pianos.

I think that my life in London will soon be changed for ever. I feel almost ready to go traveling. Question is when and in which direction. There are two options. First on is to start from New York, then go west to San Francisco and from there by the ocean straight down to San Diego towards Mexico. Whole Central and South America, flying to Namibia or SA and following the East African Track reach Kenya from where take another plane to India, which might be a good start to explore Asia and Australia. Back to London and then? Settle down, get into multimedia/movie industry? Take trip to east Europe? Shame but I've never been to Latwa, Ukraine, Bulgaria, Rumania. So much to do. Don't know yet, I've got a feeling that there is no point to ask these questions at this moment, everything is possible. But it's worth to have plans, dreams, ideas, trying to reach the sky, so just in a case you fail you will still stay somewhere between sky and the ground which is still more interesting then just a pure ground. Is it good to be down the ground? I don't think so, it's better to be a jumper towards the sky, even if others looking at you with this weird face. Feelsky, even if you can't touch this. Mc Hammer was wrong, nobody is wearing his funny beg trousers, maybe somewhere in Prague (proof on the picture). He as wrong, you can touch this, you can do it, you can control your life to the certain point.

Love, love, love? Is there a real one between man and woman? Can you define it? Is it a passion or understanding each other? Good to be in love, but maybe better to be fallen in love. Is it worth to depend on someone? Is it good to be jealous? If not is it still defined as love, or maybe desire? Do you parents love each other? Do you father received as much love as you did, if any? What is the point of having family? To have a brother, sister, have someone who is always by your side? Is it enough? Where is the balance, sex, sex, sex, cool stuff, but how can you look at someone after it's all finished. You just want to close in your own world or pretend you're still interested? Some happy people like hugging each other after they finish making love and it that’s' natural and brings pleasure for them, is it a perfect sex definition?

I don't know, don't know, 'n know. London changed me and the way I look at certain things. I became more sarcastic, stopped believing in high values. I can't remember when I prayed, I even stopped going to Yoga, meditation? Yes it happens when I'm staring on passengers in bus 38. They don't seem to be very happy. Life after 30? Maybe I've had to say to myself what I feel. Feelings? Men have no feelings. Yep, have you heard that many times, that man can't share feeling with other man, but come one. With your best mate who is your pc, your keyboard, your screen? You can do it easily. Do I sound depressing? I hope not. Did you hear polish young and quite smart hip-hop mc Lona. In a song "cheeks like optimists" he's saying that he can't feel two days a bit down, cause the other one must be better then the previous one. Life is a circle, one day you feeling divine the other however you try you've got a feeling that something is missing. So what is missing? I guess the more you see, the more you travel, the more you aware of the more you want, you becoming curious, you becoming envy all the things happening around but you are not there. Grass is greener on the other side? Who cares. Your grass is green enough, even if it’s got a hint of dry autumn yellow colour, it's still yours. So enjoy your grass.

Summer time in London, sounds great when you're a tourist. Cool, nice, life gigs, people from around the world, excited mass of tourist with their little pocket maps. I wish to be one of them totally free, concerning every pound spent on tasteless sandwiches. This is where I was 2 years ago, excited about going to the new exhibition, new museum, trendy clubs, first Jamiroquai or seeing Fun loving criminals.

Whatever I say I need to admit I love life, and I’ve had reasonable good lifestyle life in London so far. I'll be missing this place. My mood comes from the fact that it's hot summer evening in Thursday and I've got to stay home since I'm feeling really sick, coughing every 5 minutes. I had to take it all out of my chest. I'm looking forward for the days when I can again enjoy every single second. I want going out even more, dancing funny dance with cool people, shagging amazing looking women and laughing with my best mates till the next morning.